I have an innate dislike for Hypocrisy. I don’t suppose anyone really likes it, except hypocrites of course, haha! I can’t quite explain the mix of emotions i feel when i am faced with hypocritical behavior. It’s unfairness, rebelliousness, hurt, disrespect, disregard, purposeful hatred, spite, bitterness and, so much more, all at once.

I don’t understand how people can tolerate hypocritical behavior, both in themselves and others. At times i think that perhaps they are unaware of their own hypocrisy. But how long can that last? Can someone be so narcissistic to not notice how they come off to others? Apparently yes.

In the past few days I have learned a lot about myself and some of those around me. I realize now that some people have views that are completely opposite to my own, but I still appreciate them and do not ever want to sever ties or sour things with them. On the other hand, I have also realized some other things about different people, that make me cringe whenever i think about their behavior. Sometimes it is inexplicable and convoluted, but yet they seem to have a very clear and deliberate way about them. (i promised myself that i would not write a blog post as a message to anyone. And i don’t mean for this to turn into one. Certainly i do not wish to tell someone something through this blog. That is not my purpose.)

I just want to say that i think it’s ironic that i learned an IMPORTANT life lesson over the past few days: “if you are gutsy/strong/brave enough to say something to someone, be gutsy/strong/brave enough to hear someone say the same thing to you.” I find it really ironic that i was able to learn this lesson by being on both sides of the coin (so to speak).

It’s a rather long story, but the brief version is that, I usually have a rather brutish/blunt/stoic demeanor. I found out recently that I although i portray this kind of rough demeanor, i “expect” people to be understanding and kind towards me. Obviously, that is not a reasonable expectation since it is rather unlike the character that i normally display and hence, difficult for people to understand what i want and ultimately, unable to fulfill my expectations. So yes, I do realize that there is an inconsistency and I shall work to change myself.

In a completely different setting, i was placed on the other side. I was the one who had to deal with someone’s unreasonable expectations. Since they normally display a rather casual and sarcastic/satirical humor attitude towards me, I felt that they would be able to accept the same behavior from me. Unfortunately, they were not. It’s quite difficult to fulfill someone’s expectations when they are not clear. So i found myself repeating an argument to someone that jus a few days previously i had heard someone say to me!

Yes, i think it’s important to regulate hypocrisy in ourselves, but i also understand that it is easy to lose control of the way we behave and the way we expect others to behave. We all can’t be nice, goody -two-shoes all the time, so be accepting of harsh behavior from others because you too, might at some time be harsh.

I’m not sure if that counts as hypocrisy but well…you get my meaning right?

Thanks for listening,

sourspicy: clarity feels nice – ;)

PS: Hope you’re okay and we are okay.